AUTUMN

MY FAVORITE SEASON! 

The colors, the light, the temperature, cool nights, warm days, the sounds of my feet rustling through the leaves, the aromas, the tastes of food being harvested from my garden; what's not to love?

I'm in the Autumn season of my life; a time of slowing down, noticing, feeling, pondering, allowing myself to feel all the "feels." Moments of melancholy, introspection, awe, honoring my instincts, inspiration and yes, grief; these all cycle through my day. 

Autumn is a time of contraction. Metal contracts as it cools. Our bodies contract as the weather cools and we move our outdoor activities inside. The leaves on trees contract as they dry and fall to the ground. Grief is an emotion that can cause us to contract and compress. We create balance by expanding and opening; while we honor a natural contraction of our bodies and a compression of our emotions. Relish in the polarity. 

I had the pleasure of talking about aspects of the season and practicing Autumnal Qigong forms yesterday with friends. Of course, I tried to pack too much into two hours. I'll let the experience settle, just like the leaves falling from the ash tree in my backyard. And I'll help us all reflect on some images from our time together. 

We began by looking at all four seasons. I subscribe to the notion of the seasons being dictated by the Winter and Summer Solstice and the Spring and Autumn Equinox. Call me a rebel. 

Some models include a fifth season: Late Summer which I call Harvest. I place this season in the middle. It's the in-between time. The time roughly 18 days before each Solstice or Equinox. Consider the Winter Solstice, December 21st in the northern hemisphere. How does it feel in early or mid December. Like Fall? Probably not. 

Weather forecasters have come on board by talking about the "astronomical seasons" and the
"meteorological seasons." The latter model is based on temperature cycles. I like it. These in-between times are called "Doyo" in Japan.

We assign to each season an element, a color, a sound, an organ of the body, a direction, an emotion, even a celestial being. Delving a little deeper, we connect a level of our psyche with each season; a spirit, Autumn, the PO Shen. More about that in a bit. 

Yin and Yang, polarity, transformation; the seasons cycle, ascending, descending, balancing, complimenting each other. The transitions are smooth. Summer energy beings to wane as the world seemingly begins to let go, Autumn colors emerge. Notice the placement of the Winter and Summer Solstices. Winter Solstice, the days become second by second longer. Summer Solstice, even as the temperatures rise, the light of the day decreases. 

This cyclical pattern takes place in life. Conception of life transitions into a youthful Spring energy; transitioning to the vibrancy of young adulthood, summer energy; to the responsibilities and drives of adulthood, to our Autumnal senior years when we slow down a bit, transitioning to a completion, the end of life, Winter. 

Our Qigong practices revolved around our meridians and also specific acupressure points. 

Physical and social-emotional benefits of activating specific points, moving in ways that encourages circulation of Qi along the meridians, using our intuition to pinpoint points; all of these were employed as we explored pathways of energy movement. 

 

And, why not? Let's talk tigers. We learned to make the noise tigers make, we chuffed. 

The Tiger is the celestial being of the West. As tigers we climbed mountains, we pounced, we inhaled a tiger's breath and then let it go with a chuff, exhaling and releasing. Wel use sounds to help us purge, to let go. 

I would remiss if I only showed the elements as they relate to the seasons. We explored the elements in their generating cycle. I posed questions with each element, introducing the effect that the elements have on our psyche. 

Metal: What do I feel or sense at my deepest levels? How can I best honor my instincts? 

Water: How do I best continue? What's around the next bend? Can we even know? 

Wood: Where am I going? I'm certainly reaching for the clouds and out towards the horizons. 

Fire: How do I connect? I feel expansive. I need room. What are my boundaries? 

Earth: What seeds have I planted? What are my intentions? 

I love the Chinese character for Metal. JIN. 

A furnace containing nuggets of gold metal. The furnace is covered with a roof. The PO psyche feels best in a space: a cave, a labyrinth, a deep canyon. Forour purpuses, a simple roof will do. 

Another inspiring symbol, WUJI. 

Throughout the practice, we went to the state of WUJI, emptiness, a place of potential. From there we would begin our next set of forms, our next movements. 

Grief is the emotion associated with Autumn. Grief is something we don't often talk about. Grief is something we sometimes don't let ourselves feel. We need to honor grief. To create a broader perspective I presented attributes of the PO realm of our psyche. Th PO teaches us about appreciating the preciousness of each moment. The PO realm is tethered to our lungs which are balanced with our large intestine. Drawing in, letting go. Being inspired, letting go of what no longer serves us. 

The PO psyche thrives when we honor our animalistic wit and intuition. We are motivated by an embodied knowing and buy sensations. 

Grief is not a loud emotion. It can feel like a heavy veil, weighing us down. In Chinese medicine, grief and mourning are related, but they are not identical. 

• Mourning is strong. It is an acute emotion that can block lung qi. 
• Grief is quiet, persistent, heavy. Grief will weaken the lung Qi in a more subtle way. 

We may experience Anticipatory Grief before an expected loss. Cancer patients for example may feel symptoms of anticipatory grief. Treatments will most likely create a new normal: diminished energy, aches and pains, unpredictable mood swings. "I used to be able to..." can be an expression of grief. 

Care-givers are not only "allowed" to feel grief, it's to be expected. While they may be depended on for their strength, they too will most certainly feel depleted. As the person with illness has to discover their "new normal," the care-giver needs to be included in the picture of "OUR new normal." Long term or terminal illness is hard. Talk about a heavy weight. The care-giver must also carry that weight. It can feel like a burden. "Is this what I signed up for?" The answer is, "this is what is."

Grief that is not openly acknowledged or socially supported is considered to be Disenfranchised Grief. You lose a beloved pet. Others may not respect the weight this grief carries. You lose your job, a friendly neighbor, your sense of taste. Others may not realize the depth of that loss. 

A timeline for grief? No. First off, the experience will most likely be non-linear. It will move in waves. It may be prolonged, intense, disabling, creating functional impairment. 

Honoring grief

• We can carry loss forward rather than trying to solve the "problem" or "get over it." Ouch. 
• Breathe. Inhale, exhale. Every moment is a new moment, know that your emotions will ebb and flow. 
• Stop, look, listen, taste, smell, feel your present moment even as you sit with your loss. 
• Move.

                                                                                        

We began wrapping up our time together by practicing a form called "Drawing the Bow." There are many subtle variations to this form. We drew the bow and let ourselves create some tension in the bow string hand and the arrow hand. Then we let it go. I didn't have to coach people to make a noise when they let go. It just happened. Relief. 

I will include with this post a video of the forms we practiced and another video of a meditation I intended to offer. Sigh. We ran out of time. 

During the meditation we face west, towards the setting sun. We are joined by a white tiger who escorts us down a hill to a white small house. The door is wide open with a sign saying welcome, it includes your name.  Inside, precious metals of various colors. Each gem offers memories of our childhood, our young adulthood, our adulthood. After a while, we climb back up the hill with the tiger ("chuff") to relish in the colors of the sky, we see the colors of our lives, we watch our sun set. We end our day in a state of awe. 

Two more videos to come: Meditation and Stick Qigong

Love to you all.

I wish for you good health, and permission to let yourselves slow down a bit as we travel through Autumn. 

Brian