Wednesday, December 17, 2025

DESCENDING INTO AWARENESS


Me, on the right with Erik, "the beast." Top of Mount Blue Sky, formerly Mt. Evans. 
I live in Colorado. Mountains are a way of life here. They inspire us, challenge us, create a desire to conquer.

At the summit we bask in the brightness of the sun. We have ascended to a height above the tree line, perhaps even above the clouds. A celebration is in order. 

The trip up might have been long and arduous, but we always had the summit calling to us. We kept going. 

Now, getting back down the mountain can create challenges: cold hands, bumpy roads, other travelers....

We descend back to familiar ground, where we began. 

What if we decide to, or are drawn to, or feel the pull to explore by descending even further?  

We find ourselves descending from the light-filled, ethereal realms of the mountain peak, to the shady realms of valleys, and even deeper into caverns, canyons and perhaps caves. 

We're talking psyche. 

When was the last time you were truly in awe of a place, a person, a poem, a sunset? What does joy feel like? Lightness? Expansiveness? Radiance? Does is give you goose bumps?

Speaking for myself, I'm a happy guy. Deposit me near a lake on a blue sky, sunny day. Or let me recline in my hammock so I can watch the clouds drift overhead, heaven. I'm at peace, feeling expansive, feeling all of the good things. 

But, there are dark times. I call them "sad panda days." Dark days may arise because of a recent incident, accident, illness, the season, the phase of the moon... What if we don't recognize any particular cause of our mood? It's just there. That can be acknowledgement enough. 

Perhaps, just perhaps, our bodies are holding a memory of a trauma, an injury, an illness in our subconscious. My past includes both emotional and physical traumas. They left scars. 

One memory of a decades old trauma was retrieved quite unexpectedly. I'm not going to address that trauma, it's too personal. Believe it or not, I have boundaries. 

Another retrieved memory gave me back a day I had lost to amnesia after a traumatic brain injury. I wasn't trying to remember that fateful day. The memory of the incident revealed itself, in graphic detail, apparently when I was ready. 

It's a journey best taken organically. Don't rush it. If you push the process you're likely to theorize, to "create" revelations and answers. 


For most of my adult life I've sought out body-centered psychotherapy. Hakomi was the most beneficial. It's easiest to explain by describing a session. Before I do, the name Hakomi has roots in the Hopi language. It means: "How do you stand in relation to these many realms?" It's described as assisted meditation. 

  • My sessions would begin with a "hello, how are you doing? How was your week?" My responses were probably rehearsed on my drive to the appointment. They might include recent events and emotions elicited by these events. Or, perhaps I'm thinking about the past session. 
    • Note: Before I found Hakomi work I spent years in what I call "talk therapy." While "talk therapy" is very helpful for many, I found that I never let myself get beyond the "chit chat" where I was trying out different theories of why I am where I am.  
  • While I'm recapping my week, my experiences, my therapist might notice something about how I'm holding myself, or breathing, or mindlessly picking at a cuticle.
  • Inward we go. As I explore a reaction in my body, my eyes close, I go into a meditative state, or as I often describe it, a hypnotic state. 
  • I begin traveling to "these many realms." I might see myself as a young, scared boy hiding in a corner. Or, as a happy carefree boy sitting under a tree feeling the warmth of the sunshine. Or a young man on a long bike ride. 
Twice, during sessions, I had two distinct memory retrievals that had been buried in my subconscious. Both of these were quite unexpected. Both were very revealing. 

Let's go back to the traumatic brain injury. It was caused by a bicycle accident. One year later: I was lying on the couch, eyes closed, session was coming to an end and unexpectedly I started feeling the pain of the fall: road rash, my head hitting the ground, trying to get up, being helped by two strangers who saw it happen, the ambulance ride. 

It all came back. Over a year later. 

Where had these memories been stored? Why did they surface at that moment? I'll cut to the chase, they were being kept safe by my Po Soul which lives deep in the caverns of my subconscious. The Po knew when it was safe for me to remember the trauma, the loss of control. 


The Po represents our corporeal soul. It is anchored to our lungs. When we die, when we stop breathing, the Po decomposes with the body. The Po is the physical soul, tied to not only the body but also the senses, and movement; it stays with the corpse, decomposing into the earth, or it can become a ghost if rites are neglected. We'll leave that for another time.

But the Po also directs the new-born to take the first breath and move to the mother's breast to suckle. The Po protects us from external pathogens while "keeping an eye" on our functions, emotions and instincts.

I've written an article about the Five Spirits, the Po is one of the Five. Journey on!


While you don't need to spend every waking moment as a seeker, occasionally ask yourself "How do you stand in relation to these many realms?" Or better yet, see yourself as a part of a bigger picture called "nature." See yourself. 


I wish you happiness, wellness and a safe ride.


Brian

















Friday, December 12, 2025

KUNLUN MOUNTAIN

    THE DRAGON'S SPINE, KUNLUN MOUNTAIN RANGE



The Kunlun Mountains are known as the "spine of the world" or the "dragon's spine" due to their unique geological formations and their significance in Chinese mythology. These formations have fueled legends of the Kunlun Mountains being a sacred realm and the gateway between heaven and earth. 
The Kunlun Mountains extend eastward about 1800 miles (2880 kilometers) between the Tibetan Plateau to the south and the Tarim Basin to the north. I will refer to the singular Kunlun Mountain, one of 228 peaks in the Kunlun Range. 


Looking from space, the Kunlun Range resembles a dragon. Rock formations resemble the vertebrae of a giant dragon. 

Mountains elicit and sense of awe, of wonder, and the urge to climb and explore. The climate is guaranteed to be unpredictable, as is the topography. But the challenge of the ascent is real. As we climb, we pass from dense forest to sparse yet hearty alpine ground cover. We are drawn by the challenge of the summit. 

We reach the summit. Expansive blue sky, or the dark night sky, the intense sunlight, or the moon that seems close enough to touch, the planets and stars, all of these draw our attention even higher, upwards.






It's no wonder that the ancients built sacred temples and shrines high on the mountaintops. 

Originally, Kunlun Mountain was seen as the center of five mountains. Much like the Earth element is seen as the center of the four elements associated with the four seasons. 


Kunlun Mountain was regarded as the center of the world. As Chinese civilization evolved from province to province, Kunlun Mountain "moved." Convinced perhaps by Christian missionaries that mountains can't move, and "center" is a fixed location, the mountain found its home. 

Home to Taoist sorcerers, alchemists and magicians, the mountain was an inspiration, influencing their traditions. The Kunlun healers no longer live on the mountain, but continue practicing in Southern Asia.  






The peak rises high above the clouds which drift through the treetops. The trees stand firmly rooted in the earth. Venturing in to the subterranean levels we explore canyons, and mysterious caves and labyrinths. Then at the base of Kunlun Mountain is a spring, water flowing throughout the year. 

Photo by Lucian Manthey www.lucianmanthey.com



We will use Kunlun Mountain as a metaphor for human consciousness. From the Ethereal realms we begin manifesting inspiration into dreams. Our dreams become seeds which are planted and nurtured by the earth; inspiration and dreams become intention. As our exploration takes us deeper, we enter the darkness of canyons, caves and labyrinths; the Corporeal realms. We are in awe of the light of the sun and the moon shining off of precious metals. We are also cautious, and aware. The depths reveal water, mysterious, dark water. 

Dragons? Going back to the Kunlun Mountain Range as seen from outer space, the range resembles a dragon’s spine. The dragons offer a sense of power and transformation. I find solace in knowing that I am accompanied by dragons in my own personal journey.  Mimi Duo Deemer teaches about the cultural significance of dragons as well as many dragon forms:

In Chinese culture, dragons possess the power to transform, change, and overcome obstacles. As protectors, they unify our energy, enabling us to summon the courage, strength, and unwavering spirit to awaken us to our full potential.”





Enjoy the journey. In following posts we will consider the human psyche and the Five Spirits. 

I hope that you find peace, balance and good health as we travel towards the stillness of winter. 

Brian













THE WU SHEN, FIVE SPIRITS


In life, some choose to conquer mountain. But, what if we reframe our intention? What if we meet the journey not as a conquerer, but as an observer, an explorer? 

What if we feel the rhythms of the ascent and the descent, being mindful of what is: 
in front of us, 
behind us, 
next to us, 
above us, 
below us? 

What if we allow ourselves to meet what we’ve avoided, hidden, held tight to for months or years; perhaps experiences that have been handed down from past generations?

What if we allow ourselves to become the mountain, observing our peaks and valleys, our highs and lows?

The Five Spirits, the Wu Shen, metaphorically take us from spacious awareness, the mountain peak, to deeper, sometimes hidden corners in the darker valleys of the psyche. 

The Wu Shen are Five Spirits that correspond to Five Elements and Five Yin Organs of the body. Above are the Ethereal Spirits, gossamer and heavenly. Below are the Corporeal Spirits, keepers of the mortal nature of the body.

The Spirits correspond with images of nature:
  • Shen: The sun, the moon, the planets and stars. Birds flying upwards towards the stars.
  • Hun: Tree tops and clouds. Ever changing forms moved by the currents of wind.
  • Yi: The earth beneath our feet and on the horizon. Stable, secure, home.
  • Po: A canyon or a cave carved below the surface of the earth, mysterious labyrinths. Water sits on the floor of the caves. When the sunlight or moonlight illuminates the labyrinths the water, gems and minerals shine creating a sense of awe.
  • Zhi: Water: dark, deep, mysterious, yet calming, cooling, and reflective. But also consider geysers, and the hot spring water rising up from the core of the earth.

The Spirits are connected with organs and elements:

The Heart beholds The Shen Spirits which are associated with fire.
The Liver commands The Hun Spirits which are associated with wood.
The Spleen grounds The Yi Spirits, earth.
The Lungs contain The Po Spirits which are associated with the metal element.
The Kidneys are keepers of The Zhi Spirits, associated with water.

Can we see the Spirits? You may conjure an image in your mind, but start by imagining the elements themselves. See the Spirits as elements in nature.

I will introduce each Spirit with its Chinese character, ancient and insightful descriptions. I have created a set of Flying and Swimming Dragon forms 
expressing in mindful movement the nature of each Spirit. A brief description of each form will be included. 




The SHEN Spirits

The character for Shen combines the concepts of a divine alter or influences from the heavens, and also expanding, reaching and rising like fire.  Shen is the spark of self awareness, the ultimate "I am." 





Photo by Lucian Manthey Lucian Manthey Photography
We stand on the mountain top, gazing upward, in awe of the expansiveness and mysteries of the cosmos. The Shen Spirits long to fly amongst the stars. Like fire, they naturally ascend. But as long as we're alive, the Shen stay tethered to our heart where they return to rest and reflect. When we die, they become free, flying. 

On the mountain top, looking towards the heavens we begin to have insights, and inspirations. We feel as though a star has touched us, we shed a tear, we laugh, we feel healed. 


When the Shen are out of balance they are like fire, potentially out of control, rushing in and out of emotions and relationships, boundaries are blurred. 












But, when the Shen Spirits are balanced: 
  • We easily communicate our feelings.
  • We have control of our passions. 
  • We balance our passions without smothering our enthusiasm and excitement. 
  • We see the Shen Spirits shine in the eyes. I love it when I see eyes smile. 
  • Young children's eyes shine with curiosity, joy and delight as they connect with their people and the world. 
  • Adolescents may show signs of curiosity and idealism as they develop passionate friendships and experiment with romance. 
  • As we mature our eyes may communicate insight and intuition born from experience. 
As we age, the light of Shen will soften due to illnesses, losses, disappointments, suffering. It may experience a period of dormancy. 

But the light, after being immersed in darkness, blossoms once again from the heart space.
This is the “Birth of the Golden Flower.” That period of dormancy has nourished the Shen. 

We will practice two Qigong forms: Dragon Holds a Pearl and Dragon Under a Rainbow. The pearl is a Qi ball. We first think it is a reflection of the moon on the surface of the water. We take hold of this ball of energy, raise it up to the Lower Dantian, to the heart, and finally to the heavens. From above we expand and contract the ball of Qi and see ourselves standing under the stars, the moon, the Milky Way, the planets... 

While remaining tethered to the heart, we are in awe of the heavens above. 


The HUN, the Ethereal Soul




The character for Hun is made up of two radicals. On the left, Yun, clouds. On the right, Gui, ghost. 

Like clouds, the Hun transform as we breathe: changing shape, color, vanishing, reappearing. 

The ethereal Hun is the Yang soul. It is the spiritual, heavenly aspect that continues after death.




The Hun is made up of three Spirits:

You Jing = “Secret spirit.” Attraction and sexual orientation. The "Secret Spirit" leaves the body frequently visiting people, places, or things it is attracted to. 

Tai Guang = “Light of the fetus” or "Brilliant Light." Spark of life, life force.

Shuang Ling = “Bright Spirit” This part of the soul determines intellectual ability, it leaves the body at night, becoming dreams.




Wood is the element associated with the Hun. But we reference clouds when talking about the Hun. Wood is also associated with Spring, birth, reaching upwards and expanding outwards. The Hun and the Wood element embrace a certain randomness as they grow and expand like clouds; always shifting, changing, disappearing, 

If growth is impeded, we hear "no!' as though a small child is told to do something, or "move out of my way.” Anger, irritability, forgetting about our visions of the future take control. It’s like we’re sitting in traffic.

The Hun moves freely in and out of the tree branches, tethered to the liver organ and living in the eyes during the day. At night as we sleep, they leave the body traveling to the realm of dreams. Returning, they organize our dreams and images.

If the Hun is balanced:
  • We see the colors of the world.
  • We dream and imagine how we can manifest our vision. 
  • Appreciate inner vision and imagination.
  • Clear away muddled thinking like the liver cleans blood.
  • Envision possibilities and weave dreams.
  • Experience passion, excitement, zest and an unshakable "joie de vivre."
I typically get a good night's sleep. Looking at the graphic below, DEEP and CORE sleep are times when the Hun are back home at the liver, resting. The REM time? The Hun are out wandering, visiting, exploring. The AWAKE time? We sleep with our dachshunds, say no more. 






I feel particularly drawn to the Hun. It most likely has to do with my passion for laying in the hammock next to the tree in our backyard. I watch the clouds through the branches.

To cultivate a healthy Hun eat smaller meals; practice mindfulness; bathe in nature, the colors, the warmth of the sun, the breeze and the movement of tree branches. The Hun is very appreciative of birdsong.

During our practice we will first cultivate the gentle flow of clouds with Cloud Hands. Our lower hand brushes the treetops while the upper hand moves with our breath like clouds, the palm facing our heart. Our weight shifts along with the upper hand. The palm faces our heart. 

Then, the upper hand turns so the palm is facing out as we practice Green Dragon Breathes Clouds. Our weight shifts away from the upper hand as we exhale and a cloud is formed. The “shhhh” sound will supports the movement as well as the liver organ. 



YI Spirits, Between the Ethereal and the Corporeal



The character for Yi is made up of an open bowl symbolizing the heart. Above it is the radical for sound, a musical note, a chant, a poem. This note is the link between inspiration and intention, between insight and dreams of the Shen and the Hun, and the seeds of matter.  


photo by Lucien Manthey Lucian Manthey Photography


Earth: balance, groundedness and center; harvest time, gathering, planting of the seeds of our creativity and labor. Our pockets are filled with seeds of light, gifts from the Shen Spirits. The soil is fertile, thanks to the drifting clouds of the Hun above, and the light of the Shen

The Yi Spirits are tethered to the spleen, associated with sympathy but also worry, obsession and brooding about your problems. It's difficult to digest experiences because we perseverate and obsess. 

But in balance:
  • We long to plant and cultivate the seeds of our true purpose.
  • Our thinking is clear, spacious, and our concentration is spot on.
  • We act altruistically, giving without expectations.
  • We're true to ourselves and others.
  • We set boundaries saying "no" as we avoid over-committing.
  • We say it, and stay with it. 
  • We take baby steps to complete goals. 
It took me getting sick to learn from the Yi Spirits. Being diagnosed and then beginning treatments for a rare form of cancer, I initially misplaced my sense of purpose and felt as though my body no longer belonged to me. My mind escaped to the ethereal realms of the Shen and Hun where I could laugh and dance in the clouds and stars.

Then, I lost all strength in my lower body. It truly gave out. An insightful acupuncturist saw what was happening and directed me to practice Qigong Earth Forms and go walk in the grass barefoot.

I realized it was time to reacquaint myself with the Corporeal Spirits, Po and Zhi. We'll meet them next. 

We will practice a form called Spirit Dragon Shakes Its Spine. This form conjures images of planting seeds, and also collecting what we no longer need and composting it back into the earth. 


The PO Corporeal Soul


The character Po shares
the radical Gui  with the character Hun, “ghost” or “spirit." This character conveys the corporeal nature of the soul, which is associated with the physical body and its instincts. 

The radical Gui is combined with bai, "white," the color of death, bones.

Associated with the lungs and the Metal element, the Po is responsible for physical vitality, bodily sensations, survival instincts, and the process of returning to the earth after death. A balanced Po spirit leads to a strong connection with the physical world, while an imbalance can manifest as grief, disconnection, and physical or lung-related issues.





Read my bit about body-centered psychotherapy, (yet to be published) you will be introduced to the my own experience with the Po Spirits. The Po are buried light of spirits, existing in labyrinths and caves, half asleep, silent. They hold somatic memories, even those that your consciousness chooses to hide, to keep silent until you are ready.

The Po Soul is related to our autonomic nervous system. Seconds after we are born, the Po directs us to breathe. The newborn is drawn instinctively to the mother's breast. As we grow, we rely on an animal-wit, a body-sense about other people, knowing what is right and what is wrong. These are all born from our Po nature.

When in balance:
  • We heal by allowing ourselves to venture into the depths of our unexplored psyche.
  • We inhale the light of the Shen and exhale what we no longer need to carry. 
  • We see the preciousness of the moment.
  • We have a zest for life and feel back on track.
  • Colors are more vibrant.
  • Sounds touch us.
  • We feel and see texture.
  • We are more aware of scents of nature.
Similar to the Hun's Three Spirits, the Po is made up Seven Spirits. These reflect function, instincts, and emotions.

Spirit Dragon Transforms Qi will foster the sense of letting go of old ways to foster new. We'll also experience nervous system response of finding our breath after holding it briefly. Some friends who I practice with f compare the form to “the big bang theory.” 


ZHI Spirits 
                                                                                       
                                                                                                       The character for Zhi is made up of the radical for the open bowl of the “heart” below and a new green plant growing towards the sun above. This character exemplifies the connection between the "will" and the yin essences. The upper character also speaks of wisdom. Like flowing water we are determined as we shape our lives. 



The bowl of the heart. Think of a singing bowl: vibration, sound: songs, mantra, prayers, poetry, words. 

Water takes on many forms: lakes, rivers, rapids, and even geysers.

When the Zhi of the water element is not in balance you might feel exhausted from trying to control what is beyond your control. You might feel brittle, both emotionally and physically. 

But, when balanced:
  • You're okay with saying "I don't know, and that's okay." 
  • Silence is a haven. 
  • You are curious, but patiently curious. 
  • You actually enjoy waiting for the right moment to arise. 
  • You listen to your body.
  • You accept the passage of time, the seasons, night and day.



During our practice we will embody the Swimming Dragon. Slow, easy, curious, patient.

We will swim at the surface and then dive to the depths of the water. 












Steam rising, heated by the fire of the core of the earth, by our own inner fire. Swimming Dragon will ascend from the sacrum, up the spine, to the Bai Hui, the crown.





                  



While water can rise as vapor, the natural direction of movement is downward. Water has long served as an example of moving around, over and even breaking through potential obsticles. A rock, a log, a dam, may “get in the way”, but water finds its way around, committed to its purpose of flowing towards the sea. 






Winter becomes still, dark, quiet. Water transforms into ice on the surface, but its purpose is unimpeded. Life still exists under the surface, as does potential. Wuji. 

When I first learned of the association of water and winter, I was confused. I worked through my questions by writing a post “Water Flowing Underground.” 





 







Flying Dragon Qigong Forms have accompanied our journey down the mountain. We will now allow our dragon to swim below the surface of the water, exploring and playing. Our playful Swimming Dragon encounters a current of rising water, heated from the core of the earth. The dragon rises with the current, spiraling, ascending the mountain, ascending back up the spine, ascending to the crown. We’re back at the peak of the mountain. The Flying Dragon and the Shen Spirits have anticipated our return to the peak. 

They lead us home, back to the heart. 




This journey has also been told with reference to the Neijing Tu, a Taoist depiction of the body as a microcosm of nature. 

I have written a bit about the Neijing Tu and dragons:


























May your journey be fruitful, leading you back to your heart. 

Brian






















Saturday, August 30, 2025

WATER FLOWING UNDERGROUND, Talking Heads

Water is hidden in the ground beneath the snows of winter. The flow of creeks and streams is seemingly halted as water becomes ice. 

Water represents the vital essence of life, a reservoir of potential, wisdom, and 
adaptability. During the winter water is in a state of Wuji, the primordial void before differentiation into the complementary forces of Yin and Yang.

 Associated with winter, water embodies the qualities of stillness, reflection, and renewal, 

 The Kidneys along with the Urinary Bladder are the organs of the Water element. The Kidneys store and conserve the body's vital essence (Jing).

A balanced Water element facilitates wisdom, flexibility, and adaptability, allowing individuals to navigate challenges and embrace change. 

Our finest teacher: nature. 

New word: Biophilia: a natural affinity with plants, animals, water. But it's actually more than an affinity, research shows that all humans actually benefit from and have an instinctual need for these connections.

Observing nature provides wisdom and guidance while fostering resilience, patience, and connection. How does this come to be? Observation, reflection, imitation and connecting with something larger than ourselves.

We collect Qi from nature: trees, rivers, stones, while we garden in the earth, feel the warmth of a nice fire, experience negative ions at the beach.

Five elements of nature create a framework for many practices: Fire, Earth, Metal, Water and Wood. A quick review for those who think in pictures, like me.           

Five elements, Earth as Center, Balance


 
Five Elements, Generating and Controlling Cycles

"Nothing in the world is as soft and yielding as water yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible nothing can surpass it." Tao Te Jing, chapter 8 

QiGong Water Forms encourage us to observe, and feel ebb and flow as we move the body and breathe in a continuous and unbroken manner. We are drifting along currents while we also push and pull water like the tides. 

Water forms give us a chance to practice Wu Wei, effortless action. 

Savannah friends, where is this fountain?
Let's get into the forms. 

Rippling Waves Water Mudra
  • Imagine you’re floating your hands above moving water, Let your motions be fluid and spontaneous. Observe without naming. Feel the water without trying to move the water. Wu Wei.
Move like water
  • Feel waves moving up from your feet, up the spine from the sacrum through the neck. Your head, your Bai Hui, is being gently moved like a floating buoy on the surface of the water.
Fountain
  • Drawing up from the Bubbling Spring points on your feet, your hands draw water up the central channel through the crown, the Bai Hui. Then your hands separate and fall to the sides of your body. Imagine rain falling. Effortlessly. 
Pushing Waves
  • While we imagine pushing and pulling waves, like we’re steering the tides, we can settle in Wu Wei by riding the waves forward and back as the tide moves in and out. 
Daoyin
  • Water meets earth. Fluidity as we engage muscles and tendons by stretching. We’ve turned our focus to our bodies. We twist and stretch, opening joints and waking up the spine as we turn one direction, then the other. This is a wonderful introduction to our next form: 
Swimming Dragon
  • Whole body spiraling. Our spine opens. Internally we feel the power and flexibility of a dragon swimming through a deep, dark blue sea. In yogic traditions, Kundalini is the latent spiritual energy coiled at the base of the spine. Its awakening is felt as that energy coils up the spine.
6 circles
  • I love this variation of Dragon Circles as taught by Konstantin Rekk. Our attention is focused on connecting with Earth, Heaven, Living Beings, Yin Yang, and the Universe. 

 Another captivating video forthcoming. 

And just for fun:






I wish you good health and happiness,

Brian